Think carefully before and after making large gifts in romantic relationships or marriage

23. Think carefully before and after making large gifts in romantic relationships or marriage

Cost: No cost involved. Before sending a large sum of money, ask yourself: is it a loan or a gift? If it’s a loan, draft a written agreement and mark the transfer as “loan”. The hard part is actually bringing this up in conversation.

In plain terms: Once the money is transferred, you generally cannot get it back. A gift can only be revoked before it is officially registered under the recipient’s name. After that, revocation is only possible under three specific circumstances: the recipient seriously harms you or your close relatives; fails to fulfill their legal obligation to support you; or breaches any agreed terms of the gift contract. Therefore, decide early whether the payment is a loan or a gift.

Benefit: Before property rights are transferred, a gift can be withdrawn. This legal threshold is known as the “transfer of property rights”. Once the transfer is complete, only the three aforementioned situations allow for revocation. Small gifts or cash given on special occasions such as birthdays or holidays, as well as everyday expenses meant to strengthen emotional bonds, do not qualify as betrothal gifts and thus are not required to be returned upon a breakup (nationwide rule).

Evidence grade: A

Sources: National People's Congress (2020). Civil Code (Articles 658, 663). <https://www.spp.gov.cn/spp/fl/202006/t20200602_463888.shtml>; Supreme People's Court of China (2024). Provisions on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Cases involving Betrothal Disputes (Fa Interpretation [2024] No. 1, Article 3). <https://www.court.gov.cn/fabu/xiangqing/423442.html>

Notes: While it is commonly believed in legal practice that amounts such as “520” or “1314” indicate a gift, no official ruling from the Supreme People’s Court has been found in this section to confirm this as a definitive rule. Once a gift is notarized, it becomes far harder to retract. Ultimately, whether a transfer constitutes a loan or a gift depends on supporting evidence; a simple statement like “I’m lending you this money” in a chat record carries far more weight than any later disputes.