When angry, don’t try to vent by smashing things, punching a bag, or going for a run — first calm your body down.

23. When angry, don’t try to vent by smashing things, punching a bag, or going for a run — first calm your body down.

Cost: No cost at all. When you’re angry, try a few minutes of activities that slow your heart rate: breathe slowly, sit down, and quiet your mind. It’s hard to resist the urge to vent right then and there.

In plain terms: Activities that rev up the body — like punching a bag, throwing things, or going for a run — generally don’t help you cool off. On the other hand, techniques that calm the body, such as slow breathing, mindfulness, and meditation, noticeably reduce anger and the urge to lash out.

Benefit: A meta-analysis of 154 studies involving 184 sample groups and 10,189 participants shows that calming techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and meditation lower both anger and aggression. The effect size was g = -0.63, with a 95% CI ranging from -0.82 to -0.43. This result held true across genders, races, ages, and cultures. In contrast, activities that increase physical arousal — such as punching a bag, jogging, or cycling — showed virtually no effect; their effect size was g = -0.02, with a 95% CI from -0.13 to 0.09. The authors conclude that neither venting anger nor going for a run is an effective way to defuse it.

Evidence grade: A

Sources: Kjærvik SL, Bushman BJ (2024). A meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage? Clinical Psychology Review. <https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414>

Notes: These findings measure anger and aggression, not overall energy levels. The authors categorize the time spent on calming activities as “minutes saved from dealing with fallout after an argument.” Immediate techniques you can use right now include the “circular sighing” method described in Section 22, Item 9, and “stepping away when angry” in Rule 18 of this section (stepping away when angry). Running isn’t useless in the long run — it helps ease low mood, as noted in Section 22, Item 7 (“When feeling down, go for a walk or run”). It simply isn't a good short-term fix for anger. While angry, avoid driving, sending messages, or making important decisions. If someone is physically attacking you, leave the scene and call the police; your priority then is safety, not emotional regulation — see Section 8, Item 43 (“If you’re being abused”).