29-012 · EVIDENCE C · SOURCE-SENSITIVE
In the first three months after a tragedy, postpone any irreversible major decisions
变故后的头三个月，凡是不可逆的大决定一律往后推
There is no monetary cost — you simply delay decisions, which may cause you to miss certain opportunities. It can be hard to accept at the time, since opportunities often seem to vanish quickly.
During this period, your ability to judge what truly counts as an “opportunity” is at its weakest. People will approach you with offers — some claiming to let you contact the deceased, others promising to multiply your money, some urging you to quit your job and start anew elsewhere, and still others seeking a business partnership. Set a strict rule for yourself: any decision involving an amount greater than one month’s income, or any choice that would be costly to reverse, must be postponed for three months. First, discuss it with someone who has no personal stake in the matter; you simply need someone to listen so you won’t have to decide on the spot.
C
Move “In the first three months after a tragedy, postpone any irreversible major decisions” to Future Me's calendar
The excuse
If I do not open the notes, no new task has technically appeared.
What feels good now
Today I keep a few minutes, a bit of persistence and avoid interrupting my default routine.
What the source says
The source summarizes the return this way: “During this period, your ability to judge what truly counts as an “opportunity” is at its weakest. People will approach you with offers — some claiming to let you contact the deceased, others promising to multiply your money, some urging you to quit your job and start anew elsewhere, and still others seeking a business partnership. Set a strict rule for yourself: any decision involving an amount greater than one month’s income, or any choice that would be costly to reverse, must be postponed for three months. First, discuss it with someone who has no personal stake in the matter; you simply need someone to listen so you won’t have to decide on the spot.” Evidence grade C. The original states the population, caveats, and sources; this is not a personal forecast.
Use the original facts and limits. For an urgent medical, safety, financial, or legal issue, contact a qualified local professional or service.
THE ENGLISH EDITION
Original recommendation and evidence
12. In the first three months after a tragedy, postpone any irreversible major decisions
Cost: There is no monetary cost — you simply delay decisions, which may cause you to miss certain opportunities. It can be hard to accept at the time, since opportunities often seem to vanish quickly.
In plain terms: During this period, your ability to judge what truly counts as an “opportunity” is at its weakest. People will approach you with offers — some claiming to let you contact the deceased, others promising to multiply your money, some urging you to quit your job and start anew elsewhere, and still others seeking a business partnership. Set a strict rule for yourself: any decision involving an amount greater than one month’s income, or any choice that would be costly to reverse, must be postponed for three months. First, discuss it with someone who has no personal stake in the matter; you simply need someone to listen so you won’t have to decide on the spot.
Benefit: This rule helps you avoid making irreversible financial moves when you’re still reeling from a loss and your judgment is impaired. Such moves include selling your home, quitting your job, investing a lump sum of bereavement or compensation payouts, rushing into a new marriage, or acting as a guarantor for someone else. These decisions often involve sums ranging from tens of thousands of yuan up to the value of a house, which is why the benefit level is rated as moderate. Official documents also list “family tragedy, job loss, or dropping out of school” as risk factors for psychological distress that communities should monitor — meaning this period is already recognized as one where outside support is needed.
Evidence grade: C
Sources: Author's experience, no direct literature; "Family accident, unemployment, dropping out of school" as psychological crisis risk expressions can be found in the National Health Commission of China (NHC) and other 25 departments (2026). Implementation plan for improving the social psychological service system and crisis intervention mechanism (National Health Medical Administration [2026] No. 8). <https://www.gov.cn/zhengce/zhengceku/202604/content_7065035.htm>
Notes: If you have no such neutral third party nearby, call 12356 and explain your situation (see item 11 in this section on using this line to talk to someone). You can also write down your thoughts and reread them after three days. The “three‑month” timeframe is an author‑set guideline with no scholarly backing, which is why the evidence grade is C. Common scams targeting bereaved individuals and seniors are covered in sections 17 (investment and housing schemes) and 6 (fortune‑telling). Pitfalls related to guarantees and promissory notes are discussed in section 8. A few financial actions must be handled promptly and cannot be postponed: withdrawing your housing provident fund balance, claiming social insurance benefits, and receiving compensation for a work‑related death — details are provided in sections 25 and 19.
Read the complete Chinese source and notes
12. 变故后的头三个月，凡是不可逆的大决定一律往后推
成本: 不花钱，只是把决定往后推，可能因此错过某些机会。难在当时会觉得机会不等人。
说人话: 这段时间你对各种「机会」的判断力最差。说能联系逝者的、说能帮你把钱翻回来的、劝你辞职去外地重新开始的、拉你合伙的，都会找上来。金额超过一个月收入、或者反悔代价很大的事，一律推后三个月。先讲给一个跟这件事没利益关系的人听，别当天拍板。
收益: 避免在刚受打击、判断力最差的那段时间，做出反悔不了的财产处置。这类事包括卖房、辞职、把抚恤金或赔偿款一次性投出去、仓促再婚、替人担保。这类决定的金额通常在数万元到一套房子这个量级，收益因此定为中。官方文件同样把「家庭变故、失业、失学」列为社区要主动排查的心理危机风险，这段时间的状态本来就被当成需要外人搭把手的状态
证据等级: C
来源: 作者经验，无直接文献；「家庭变故、失业、失学」作为心理危机风险的表述见国家卫生健康委等 25 部门 (2026). 健全社会心理服务体系和危机干预机制实施方案（国卫医政发〔2026〕8 号）. <https://www.gov.cn/zhengce/zhengceku/202604/content_7065035.htm>
备注: 身边没有这样一个没利益关系的人，就打 12356 讲一遍（见本节第 11 条，要人陪着说话打 12356），或者自己写下来隔三天再读一遍。「三个月」是作者自己划的线，没有文献支持这个具体时长，所以记 C 级。针对丧亲者和老人的常见骗局见第 17 节（投资养老、以房养老）和第 6 节（算命）。担保和借条的坑见第 8 节。有几笔钱要主动去办，不在「往后推」之列：公积金余额、社保待遇、工亡三笔钱，见第 25 节和第 19 节。
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